Open AD:
Ominous music. Grainy photo of Maryland Republican candidate Michael Steele handling a puppy, from his television ad, "Puppies".
Voice: "Michael Steele is always talking about how much he loves puppies.
Now some people are wondering - does he "love" dogs a LITTLE TOO MUCH?
After 4 years as Maryland Lt. Governor, Michael Steele has gone out of his way NEVER TO CONDEMN MAN-ON-DOG SEX.
And he's NEVER ONCE supported a bill to make sex with dogs a federal crime. Now, some Marylanders are starting to ask why.
On November 7, you have a choice. Will you support someone who may LITERALLY BE SCREWING THE POOCH? Is that what Maryland needs for its kids, Senator Humps-a-Dog? On November 7, you'll get to tell Lt. Gov. Rover what you think of his "dog-loving". So don't forget to vote."
END AD
So, pretty good, huh? Should I try to shop it to Ben Cardin's campaign, or maybe PETA?
I mean, fuck it, why go halfway any more? Why don't we make campaigns about who can dream up the most outrageous shit to say about the other candidate? The Republicans are doing it - the anti-Ford "bimbo" ad; the "Bin Laden" ad; the crap I've been getting in my mailbox showing the Dem candidate in my district being beamed down from a freakin' FLYING SAUCER with print saying "Extremist Liberal Andrew Hurst - IS HE FROM THIS PLANET?"
I'm sick of it - let's take the gloves off and just make it a game of who can think of the slimiest thing to say regardless of the truth:
"George Allen LAUGHS AT DISABLED VETERANS, probably."
"No one can prove that Thomas Kean, Jr. wouldn't LOVE TO PISS IN in the baptismal fonts at Catholic Churches."
"Dick Cheney and Dennnis Hastert seem like MAN-EATING CANNIBALS who love the taste of HUMAN FLESH."
They all seem true enough to me. They're certainly "truthy". Isn't that good enough? It seems like we're headed that way.
End Rant.